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Sitting with Anxiety

Anxiety is an emotion many of us try to avoid, suppress, or fix as quickly as possible. As a coach, I’ve found that the real power lies in learning to “sit with” anxiety-to allow it space without resistance or judgment. This approach is not about ignoring discomfort or forcing positivity; it’s about developing a gentle curiosity toward what your anxiety is trying to communicate.

When we sit with anxiety, we often discover that beneath the racing thoughts and physical tension lies important information-perhaps an unmet need, a boundary to set, or a longing for change. By sitting in the feeling of anxiety and using grounding techniques, we create a safe container for these feelings. This might look like taking slow, deep breaths, noticing sensations in the body, or simply naming the emotion out loud.

Through this process, we begin to see anxiety not as an enemy, but as a trusted messenger. Over time, sitting with anxiety builds resilience and self-compassion. It teaches us that discomfort is temporary and that we have the inner resources to navigate it. When we stop fighting our anxiety, we open the door to deeper self-understanding and lasting growth. Every emotion, even anxiety, has something valuable to teach us.

Techniques to help develop a healthy relationship with anxiety.

Sitting with anxiety, rather than avoiding it, can be challenging, so here are some techniques to help you develop a healthier relationship with your anxious feelings. From the techniques below, find one or two that work for you and bring them into practice when you feel anxiety washing over you:

      •     Mindfulness and Meditation: Practice observing your anxiety without judgment. Notice where you feel it in your body, the thoughts that accompany it, and allow it to be present without trying to push it away. Mindfulness teaches you to “sit with” discomfort and gradually become more comfortable with it.

      •     Grounding Techniques: Use your senses to anchor yourself in the present moment. The 5-4-3-2-1 method is especially effective: identify 5 things you can see, 4 you can touch, 3 you can hear, 2 you can smell, and 1 you can taste.

      •     Controlled Breathing: Slow, deep breaths can calm your nervous system and help you stay present with anxiety. Focus on the sensation of breathing in and out, counting each breath if it helps.

      •     Journaling: Writing down your anxious thoughts and feelings can help you process them, identify patterns, and reduce their intensity over time.

      •     Physical Activity: Gentle movement, such as walking, stretching, or yoga, can help shift your focus and release tension, making it easier to sit with anxiety.

      •     Compassionate Self-Talk: Treat yourself with kindness, as you would a friend. Remind yourself that anxiety is a normal human experience and that you have the capacity to handle it.

      •     Radical Acceptance: Practice accepting your anxiety as it is, without trying to change or fix it. This can reduce the struggle and allow the feeling to pass more naturally.

By practicing these techniques regularly, you can build your ability to tolerate anxiety and reduce the urge to avoid it. Over time, this approach can help you feel more in control and less overwhelmed by anxious feelings.

How to choose a Life Coach

Choosing a life coach can be tricky. Finding the right person for you requires careful consideration of your needs, goals, and the coach’s qualifications. 

Here are some steps to help you choose the right Life Coach:

1. Define Your Goals

Identify what you want to achieve—whether it’s overcoming challenges, improving relationships, or advancing your career. Knowing your goals will help you find a coach whose expertise aligns with your needs.  We understand that sometimes actually pinpointing your goals can be difficult, you may only have a general idea before engaging a coach, so often a clearer goal will evolve from your first couple of sessions. 

2. Research Credentials and Experience

Check the coach’s qualifications, certifications, and experience. While formal credentials are valuable, also consider their track record and testimonials from past clients.

3. Evaluate Their Specialisation

A good coach can coach nearly anyone in any situation but some coaches focus on specific areas (e.g., trauma recovery, career development, family issues or personal growth). If you are very clear what area you are wanting to work in then choose one whose specialisation matches your objectives but the most important element is that you feel safe and listened to by your coach. 

4. Schedule an Introductory Call 

Most coaches offer free introductory calls. Use this opportunity to determine if you feel comfortable opening up to them and ask and questions you may have.

5. Asses Their Personality and Style 

A coach’s personality should resonate with yours. Get an understanding of their values and approach. Consider whether their coaching style (structured vs. flexible) suits your preferences.

6. Consider Their Energy and Values

Choose a coach whose energy inspires you and whose values align with yours. Ideally, they should model the qualities you want to develop in yourself.

7. Don’t Let Price Be the Sole Deciding Factor

Coaching is an investment in yourself. While affordability matters, prioritise quality and compatibility over cost.

By following these steps, you can find a life coach who supports your growth effectively and aligns with your unique needs.

Indecision

The Weight of Indecision: Navigating Life’s Crossroads

Indecision is a common experience that many of us face at various points in our lives. Whether it’s choosing a career path, deciding on a relationship, or even picking what to eat for dinner, the struggle to make a choice can feel overwhelming. But what causes this paralysis, and how can we navigate through it?

Understanding Indecision

Indecision often stems from a fear of making the wrong choice. This fear can be exacerbated by the abundance of options available in today’s world. With so many possibilities, it’s easy to become paralyzed by the “what ifs.” The pressure to make the perfect decision can lead to anxiety and stress, creating a cycle that makes it even harder to choose.

The Psychology Behind Indecision

From a psychological perspective, indecision can be linked to several factors:

    •    Fear of Regret: The anticipation of regretting a decision can lead to avoidance.

    •    Perfectionism: The desire for the best possible outcome can hinder the ability to make any decision at all.

    •    Overthinking: Analyzing every possible outcome can create confusion and delay action.

Strategies to Overcome Indecision

    1.    Limit Your Options: Too many choices can lead to analysis paralysis. Try narrowing down your options to three or four viable choices.

    2.    Set a Time Limit: Give yourself a specific timeframe to make a decision. This can help reduce the pressure and encourage you to act.

    3.    Focus on Values: Consider what matters most to you in the situation. Aligning your choice with your core values can provide clarity.

    4.    Embrace Imperfection: Accept that no decision is perfect and that making mistakes is part of growth. Often, the experience gained from a less-than-ideal choice is invaluable.

    5.    Seek Support: Discussing your thoughts with friends or family can provide new perspectives and help you feel less alone in your decision-making process.