Anxiety is an emotion many of us try to avoid, suppress, or fix as quickly as possible. As a coach, I’ve found that the real power lies in learning to “sit with” anxiety-to allow it space without resistance or judgment. This approach is not about ignoring discomfort or forcing positivity; it’s about developing a gentle curiosity toward what your anxiety is trying to communicate.
When we sit with anxiety, we often discover that beneath the racing thoughts and physical tension lies important information-perhaps an unmet need, a boundary to set, or a longing for change. By sitting in the feeling of anxiety and using grounding techniques, we create a safe container for these feelings. This might look like taking slow, deep breaths, noticing sensations in the body, or simply naming the emotion out loud.
Through this process, we begin to see anxiety not as an enemy, but as a trusted messenger. Over time, sitting with anxiety builds resilience and self-compassion. It teaches us that discomfort is temporary and that we have the inner resources to navigate it. When we stop fighting our anxiety, we open the door to deeper self-understanding and lasting growth. Every emotion, even anxiety, has something valuable to teach us.
Techniques to help develop a healthy relationship with anxiety.
Sitting with anxiety, rather than avoiding it, can be challenging, so here are some techniques to help you develop a healthier relationship with your anxious feelings. From the techniques below, find one or two that work for you and bring them into practice when you feel anxiety washing over you:
• Mindfulness and Meditation: Practice observing your anxiety without judgment. Notice where you feel it in your body, the thoughts that accompany it, and allow it to be present without trying to push it away. Mindfulness teaches you to “sit with” discomfort and gradually become more comfortable with it.
• Grounding Techniques: Use your senses to anchor yourself in the present moment. The 5-4-3-2-1 method is especially effective: identify 5 things you can see, 4 you can touch, 3 you can hear, 2 you can smell, and 1 you can taste.
• Controlled Breathing: Slow, deep breaths can calm your nervous system and help you stay present with anxiety. Focus on the sensation of breathing in and out, counting each breath if it helps.
• Journaling: Writing down your anxious thoughts and feelings can help you process them, identify patterns, and reduce their intensity over time.
• Physical Activity: Gentle movement, such as walking, stretching, or yoga, can help shift your focus and release tension, making it easier to sit with anxiety.
• Compassionate Self-Talk: Treat yourself with kindness, as you would a friend. Remind yourself that anxiety is a normal human experience and that you have the capacity to handle it.
• Radical Acceptance: Practice accepting your anxiety as it is, without trying to change or fix it. This can reduce the struggle and allow the feeling to pass more naturally.
By practicing these techniques regularly, you can build your ability to tolerate anxiety and reduce the urge to avoid it. Over time, this approach can help you feel more in control and less overwhelmed by anxious feelings.